The Second Time.
The hours and money we invest in graduate school doesn’t add up to a small number. Depending on the type of master’s degree you earn, it may also entail more time and money after graduation to get you where you want to go. Then you have people like me who go to graduate school twice. Why I did that is not really important within the context of this article but I will say that I learned HOW to do it better the second time around. What made it better was not necessarily graduate school itself but what I did after I graduated. So you may be wondering what I did the first time around, right? What did I do after receiving my first graduate degree? Hmmm….I got a new job and I went to work. I know, that doesn’t sound very exciting. This is why I want to share with you what I did after receiving my second graduate degree because it may be more useful to you. Here goes (in somewhat chronological order)…
- I slept. A lot. No, seriously, I do mean a lot, for what seemed liked weeks and weeks. It was wonderful in so many ways. This is not because I didn’t sleep during graduate school. I had a very consistent sleep schedule throughout as I know the importance of sleep and know what happens to my brain when I don’t get enough, even for one night. Impaired cognitive functioning and sleep deprivation are intimately connected. I slept after graduate school because I was mentally, emotionally, and physically drained and my body and brain demanded additional rest. I listened and gave them what they wanted.
- I got out of town. I decided to take a weekend trip by myself, not only to reward my accomplishments but to simply get away from the routine of graduate school. I also decided that no other person was allowed on this trip to talk to or listen to. I might have talked to one person – the massuese. “Yes, deep tissue massage please and no more talking“. I am in the business of people as many of you are in different capacities. The idea here is that you can love what you do AND take a break from people for your own self-care. So I did.
- I expressed my appreciation to those who supported me during my time in school. It’s not easy to decide to go to graduate school, get through it, and juggle everything else going on. Others often help you financially, emotionally, or both. It was important for me to thank them. I’m really hoping right now I didn’t forget someone who is reading this.
- I spent time with family and friends. Graduate school sometimes keeps you away from important events with these important people in your life. It was nice to share my accomplishments with the people I care about, care about me, and were happy for me.
- I did mindless stuff. One thing I remember doing was cleaning the refrigerator which was oddly gratifying. When you are in graduate school, you are regularly challenging your brain (this is good for overall brain functioning). A mindless activity from time to time like cleaning the refrigerator gives your brain a break. The activity is still mentally stimulating but does not require the same mental demands as learning. Plus the sense of satisfaction or enjoyment in the activity could reduce anxiety and create a sense of calm.
- I exercised my right to do nothing. There is always something to do when you are in graduate school. Plus I knew eventually there would be something else for me to do after graduation. But, not yet, I told myself. I gave myself permission to do absolutely nothing (sometimes “nothing” with a remote in hand).
- I worked out. Truth be told, I put on some “graduate school pounds”. Changes in routine, increased stress, and changes in eating and exercise will do this. I tried not to harp on the extra pounds but I did notice that my body was not as efficient as it once was due to the decline in exercise. I have always worked out because I love it and makes me feel good. So, I simply went back to what I love and makes me feel good.
- I took stock of my career goals. I started to plan my future to help me further realize the dreams and ideas I had before starting graduate school. I had already developed preliminary plans and strategies but this step entailed solidifying my goals. There was no way I was ready to do this before I did steps 1-7 above. Research has shown that setting goals leads to more success but research has also shown that a better state of mind and body during goal-setting is more effective.
- I took action and reached out to people. Yes, I eventually started talking to others again. Networking is the term used for developing meaningful relationships to help you reach your career goals. Feeling good and knowing what my goals were, it was much easier to relay to other people what I wanted to do. Action with purpose and clear direction is what I suggest.
- I made mistakes. Yes, despite the thoughtful planning, I made some wrong choices. I use the term “wrong” loosely because I don’t know that it accurately depicts my experience. I would say I made choices that caused more frustration, time, and money than I would have liked. But, there is something I like to say to myself which often keeps me going. We all need something we say to ourselves when we start to lose focus, want to quit, or take the easy way out. “Things always work out for me.” This is my reminder. The reminder that regardless of the choices I make, I can either keep going or make a different choice but that it will still work out.
For those of you contemplating graduate school, currently in graduate school, or about to graduate soon, I say congratulations.
And…..what is the point of sharing my list with you? Are you supposed to follow it? Are you supposed to create your own? Are you supposed to feel better because someone told you it’s okay to do nothing for a while? Nope, some of you are going to do exactly what I did after I received my first graduate degree. It doesn’t matter what you do. What matters is that whatever you choose to do, you’ll find something to say to yourself that keeps YOU always in mind. If you can’t think of anything right now, you can borrow mine. “Things always work out for me”.
Thelma Franco